thew33niest:

1980’s Businesswoman Comics by Kate Beaton

Goals

fruitappreciation:

omg apparently artificial banana flavoring is based on the gros michel banana which was wiped out by a banana plague in the 50s and the banana we eat today is a totally different thing called the cavendish and thats why banana candy doesnt taste like bananas do you know how lied to i feel. like there was a fucking banana apocalypse and no one told me about it until now

gelatins:

by day i am just a regular loser, by night i am the same loser only it’s nighttime

wellheyproductions:

the-average-gatsby:

the-average-gatsby:

imagine a horror movie where you’re trapped in your house with a serial killer but all your lights are clappers

so you’re running for your life from this psychopath while both of you are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off

out of all my 3:00 AM ramblings you guys decide to make this one popular

Let’s make this situation even better. Both of you are wearing TAP SHOES, and all of the floors are hardwood.

flowersam:

you ever look at a kink and think “nah” then a few years later look at the same kink and go “actually yes”

theblacklacedandy:

I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE

i-want-cheese:

the-nestene-consciousness:

strawberry-taffy:

having an old tiny worrisome asian lady as my mother is a small burden

"i love u my dumpling"

Aw, your mom misses you… <3

jaclcfrost:

awesomeartist15:

jaclcfrost:

if someone ever makes me the godparent of their child i’m going to make sure their child grows up referring to me as their fairy godparent and believing that i am their fairy godparent

Will you wear a pointy crown and have a star wand and little fairy wings too?

no of course not don’t be ridiculous

i will have huge fairy wings

bangarangn1tram:

vagisodium:

i dont remember this part of the bible

After the night he had, neither did Jesus.

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

Slippery dick is of least concern